Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Cougar Ville, Men vs. Woman, Vintage Marriage to Modern Day Socializing!

Today I came across a very interesting article that a friend sent me:

Cougars Inc.: The Lady Predator Lifestyle
The phenomenon of older women dating younger men

This was an article written by Peter Savodnik on Bloomberg Business Week, which discusses the Cougar Economy and gives an inside glimpse on older woman dating younger men.

A fascinating highlight of the article:
In the decade since Valerie Gibson published Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men, the very notion of older women dating younger men has gained acceptance in popular culture, in part, due to the emergence of high-profile women—such as Demi Moore, Katie Couric, and the fictional character Samantha Jones on Sex and the City—who have no qualms about dating younger partners. "There is a new archetype that's emerging," says Amy Luna Manderino, the reigning Miss Cougar International. "There have always been free-thinking, vital women over the age of 40. The difference today is our numbers have reached a critical mass." Christine Lehtonen, a principal at Asterix Group, a marketing and advertising agency in San Francisco, says there are more women in the U.S. aged 51 than any other single age. "Can you imagine what could happen," she says, "if all these women were marketed to?"

The article also elaborates on the widespread trend of this topic through extreme marketing in various circles from television (cougarville), books, groups, themed dating sites, conventions, pageants, fashion and beauty, there is a huge market for this and people are cashing in, but how long is this trend going to last? Is it a phase or a re-emergence from history, perhaps a reversal of roles, begun by men in which case it wasn't uncommon for a man to marry a much younger girl in early times as portrayed in the photo at the beginning of this post, its an age disparity in relationships.

According to a reference in wikipedia:
In a Brown University study, it has been noted that the social structure of a country determines the age difference between spouses more than any other factor.One of the concerns of relationships with age disparities in some cultures is a perceived difference between people of different age ranges. These differences may be sexual, financial, and/or social in nature. Gender roles may complicate this even further. Socially, a society with a difference in wealth distribution between older and younger people that may affect the dynamics of the relationship.Sexually, it is noted that older people tend to have lower sex drives, and younger people tend to be sexually inexperienced. Legally, there is the issue of consent, where minors and older people with certain health problems are considered unable to consent to a relationship.

Relationships with age disparity of all kinds have been observed with both men and women as the older or younger significant other. In the modern Western culture, older men often seek younger women.Older women often date younger men as well, and in both cases wealth and physical attractiveness are often relevant.

On average in Europe, most men marry women around three years younger. A study released in 2003 by the United Kingdom's Office for National Statistics concluded that the proportion of women in England and Wales marrying younger men rose from 15% to 26% between 1963 and 1998.

In August 2010, Dr. Michael Dunn of the University of Wales Institute, Cardiff completed and released the results of a study on age disparity in dating. Dr. Dunn concluded that "Not once across all ages and countries...did females show a preference for males significantly younger than male preferences for females" and that there was a "consistent cross-cultural preference by women for at least same-age or significantly older men." A 2003 AARP study had previously brought results that 34% of forty-year and older women were dating younger men.

Sociobiological considerations

For women the average age of menopause is in their late forties and early fifties, and before that infertility is known to increase with age. While men do not necessarily become sterile with age, infertility does go up with age.

Definition from Urban Dictionary:


An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity


An attractive woman in her 30's or 40's who is on the hunt once again. She may be found in the usual hunting grounds: nightclubs, bars, beaches, etc. She will not play the usual B.S. games that women in their early twenties participate in. End state, she will be going for the kill, just like you.


An attractive woman in her 30's or 40's who is on the hunt once again. She may be found in the usual hunting grounds: nightclubs, bars, beaches, etc. She will not play the usual B.S. games that women in their early twenties participate in. End state, she will be going for the kill, just like you.


An older woman who is past her prime & who is attracted to younger men, often as an act of desperation or as a last resort.
That woman's a typical cougar, unable to score with men of her own age so she's out chasing younger men.

So what do you think about being an older woman dating a much younger man aka boy, is their a balance? Is he your equal, will it work? There is a lot of pressure for woman to look their best and to gain acceptance. I think if I had children, what would they think, my family, my friends, then again age could really just be a number. But I'm not in my mid 40's, never been married, no children, so what does that make me, a cub?, lol...In the wild that is what it could be referred to, a cub! The reversal is I'm desirable to a much older man, a lion I guess he would be called, lol.

As I type this post and come to a close I found :
Dorothy Parker on the subject of romance:
Dorothy Parker
By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying -
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.
—Dorothy Parker,


If there is any aspect of dating which is common for both sexes, then perhaps the idea of being in love can be scary; one said "being really intimate with someone in a committed sense is kind of threatening" and described love as "the most terrifying thing." In her Psychology Today column, research scientist, sex columnist and book author Debby Herbenick compared it to a roller coaster:

There's something wonderful, I think, about taking chances on love. Going out on a limb can be roller-coaster scary because none of us want to be rejected or to have our heart broken. But so what if that happens???????

To me, if that happens, you can look at it many ways:
-He or she wasn't the right one
-Bad timing
-Served a purpose for the time they were in your lives
-You weren't meant to be together at the time your heart breaks, but if you set a bird free and they come back, then that is when it is meant to be

I believe sometimes we have breaks in our lives, we are always recycling our emotions, especially with love. One partner will love more then the next, one will not, one will carry the torch and the other one won't. One man's trash is another man's treasure, we discard old toys and make way for the new one, once the novelty of the new has worn off, do you just discard again and move on, or do you face it head on, and figure out what you can do to re-invent it. Communication is the key to everything never hold back from this, make that vow to yourself.

One thing is for sure the universe is always working, that karma you put out there eventually comes right back so make sure its positive and good!

Have a wonderful day and celebrate who you are everyday.

P.S. Enjoy all the vintage images....

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